Oil on Beaverboard

Oil on Beaverboard CD cover

Lyrics

These Big Steps

We’ll make a pillow out of stones if we’re cast into the wilderness

We can wander alone in the cradle of your starlit chest

I never follow my head if it’s set to the North, instead

my heart and the steering wheel are set for the magnetic west

 

Don’t be weary, be proud

It’s these big steps that define everybody

Be heartened, be bold

It’s these big steps that make us into how we are

 

And as the last song crackled on the late night shortwave show

we drifted off the dial and drove into the nobody knows

I watched your eyelids close for the very first time tonight

I kissed your hair-ruffled face in the half-light window sunrise

 

Don’t be guilty or uneasy

Forsake the head that’s thinking for the heart that’s feeling

Move forward, be proud

It’s these big steps that define everybody

 

I saw a silhouette of you sitting naked on the edge of the bed

I locked it in my memory for the times when you’ll be just in my head

I’ve got you in soft focus

staring out the window in your best dress shoes

And you’re talking in a whisper

about the broken tiles on the motel pool

 

So come on, don’t be fearing

We’ll work it out somehow when we’ve settled the dust

And be proud, don’t be weary

It’s these big steps that define everybody

Be happy, be bold

It’s these big steps that define everybody

Be reckless, be wild

It’s these big steps that make us into who we are

 

Cold Carry On

When I think about the things that I have done

I judge myself on each and every one

The trouble seems to lie in how I see

The strained relationship of you and me

 

It’s a cold, it’s a cold

It’s a cold way to carry on

 

But it didn’t always have to be that way

If you need me won’t you promise that you’ll say

And I’ll help you out in any way I can

Brother you don’t have to be the bigger man

 

There were many times you came to keep an eye on me

That’s a cold way to carry on

 

And it’s only in your mirror that I see

The little tiny details I dislike in me

So maybe if I learnt to like myself

Brother we can be with be with everybody else

 

Under the Radar

Slow motion reprieve

Under the radar

but just above the trees

Hiding from my demons

shoved under the cupboard

with the useless crap I don’t want to see

 

Run away from responsibility

Under the radar is good enough for me

I’ll navigate you

It might just terminate you

You’ll never fly with a worse pilot than me

 

I’m not trying anymore

 

Under the radar and sloping off your screen

Hiding in a smokescreen

and crawling on my knees

I’ve been told I’m toothless

and especially useless

You’ll be pleasantly disappointed with someone like me

 

Under the radar and sloping off your screen

Hiding in this smokescreen

and escaping on my knees

I’ll navigate you

It might just terminate you

You’ll be pleasantly disappointed with someone like me

 

In a tailspin with me

 

Taliesin west

No lyrics it’s an intrumental

Waiting for the Butterflies

I can’t sleep this summer

and love is such a puzzle

I’m always finding new pieces

impatiently trying to make them fit

I’m staying home this summer

in case you call or you write me a letter

And I’ve been watching the front gate,

pinning my hopes on the next one being for me

 

All my friends are so confident

but I’m always closing my eyes

or staring out the window

finding something different to see

 

You finally came to my door

and it’s such a relief

when all the doubts I had about you don’t come true

just like I want it to be

And I can sit on this swing

watching the stars spin in infinity

and they always spin faster

when you’re pushing me

 

I’ve been feeling more confident

and we’re closing our eyes and we’re imagining

sitting on a mountain, high above the cloud tops

sharing a daydream

Lying in the meadow, listening to the river,

watching all the insects, waiting for the butterflies

 

I’ll dedicate you the summer

Things always happen slowly for me

But my stomach started racing

It’s another new feeling for me

I’m not scared with you

I can say what I’m thinking

Things that I wouldn’t never ever say to my friends

 

I’ve been feeling more confident

and we’re always closing our eyes

And sitting on a hillside high above the town

watching the plane trails crossing the sky

And you make my voice shake

Sometimes it breaks with laughter

Watching all the insects, waiting for the butterflies

 

My Imaginary God

My imaginary god discredits the angels

and staggers around in the knave

but looks up to the architraves

And sees such beauty through rolling eyes

Stands drunk at the cusp of the sky

So bring me the god of wine

Extend his cup to mine

 

My imaginary god

was covered with pathos so blue

Consigned to the catacombs

With the souls of the comatose

And he was planted with seeds of doubt

With these grapes pressed, he shambles about

Struck down with a madness and ire

Cast forth to wander his lonely desire

 

And I want you, so bad that I’m sick

And I want to come back to the myth

And I want to have heroes and saints

And I want to believe what I paint

 

My imaginary god

emerges from landscapes of fire

and falling in love at first sight

Sees such beauty through smouldering eyes

at the cusp of these skies

And he showed her initial fear

But he raised her crown to heaven

With vows of intoxication

he pronounced her a constellation

 

The Bowerbreak

Dance around like dying birds

Follow every step you take

Devoted to your every word

Hanging to each move you make

 

The longer the dance

The closer the bond

The closer the dance

 

Let the sunlight infiltrate

onto these brightly coloured wings

Every step I imitate

Every note I softly sing

 

Please stay with me

Please forgive me for these things

Please stay with me

Hold me when the bower breaks

 

Watch the twilight penetrate

onto these brightly coloured wings

Every breath I imitate

Into the spell I start to sink

 

There’ll be no Whiskey in this House no more

Shades of grey and shadows of matt

Sleep like star-shaped

Shades of amber and shadows of gold

Don’t heed the messages I’m told

 

There’ll be no whiskey in this house no more

There’ll be no darkness and no demons

Slumped at my door

There’ll be no weak will at this table

No bloodstains on these paviors

No love lost when we’re able

 

Throat of gravel and head of slow

Lie like seasick

Stitch the scars and heal the holes

Don’t feel invincible

 

Like to fight and care to love

Don’t hold my tongue for anyone

Race my heart and swell my pride

I feel untouchable

 

Beautiful carnage beautiful wreck

Tighten hands around my neck

Throw me back the love I gave

Some day we’ll laugh

 

Just For Now

Let’s build it up and then knock it down

Shape from the clay that lay all around us

Buried alive with our retinue

Fixed in one place in a time we will start anew

 

This started with you and it ends with you

 

Bawling my eyes like a drunken fool

Clutching your hand like the first day at school

Missing the point that I’m losing you

Fixed in one place in a time we will start anew

 

This started with you and it ends with you

 

Pull it all down

 

Let’s build it up and then knock it down

Shape from the clay that lay all around us

Buried alive with our retinue

Smothered to death by the things that we chose to do

 

This started with you and it ends with you

 

Follow the sky I paint for you

I saw a room of balloons and flowers

And partly opened get well cards

I only wish I could pull you through

Follow the sky I paint for you

 

The sunlight over the TV room

My brush is frayed, my pallet’s blue

I saved the finest strokes for you

Follow the sky I paint for you

 

And in these late night lonely thoughts

I tear my hair out too

You collapse and I’ll cradle you

Follow the sky I paint for you

 

Black Phase

Maybe my star won’t ever cross the sky

Maybe my grass will never grow as high

I heard my lips smack your behind

My tyre tracks will fit and follow inside

 

Maybe your dam is finally running dry

Maybe it’s just something got stuck in my eye

It was a fine and slightly puzzled mind

In its own day and life and time

But now it seems it’s lost all sense of wrong and right

 

It’s been another black day

In this black phase

On my black page

 

I’d love to take a look inside

And rip out the poison that’s in your mind

Maybe your feelings are benign

Maybe you’re numbed and just don’t realise

 

Devoid of warmth and wit and wealth

A pale imitation of a former self

Maybe this anger will subside

Maybe it’s me you won’t recognise

Maybe this muddled ball of wool will untie

 

And I’ve seen all sorts of thoughts flash by

I drove away one final time

I guess you’re numbed and just don’t realise

 

Feverish Dreams

I love the haze

And I love these days

When I’ve got absolutely nothing to do

All alone, under my stone

You can carry my bone sack away

 

And I get these Feverish Dreams

Every time you and me start drinking through the afternoon

And I get these Feverish Dreams

Every time you and me

Start tearing each other apart

 

Small mercies I know

Like holes shot in a crow

And I’m looking pale and sallow

I can’t tell you what I drank

Round the back of the bottle bank

Where the seagulls fought me for my soul

 

And I’m stuck out in the afternoon sun

The lorries fly by ton by ton

And I’m lying on the central reservation

And I can see you through my bloodshot eyes

Calling me home from the other side

But crawling is all I can do

 

Night and blue

No lyrics it's an intrumental